MI2 self-assessment (v2)

I’m going to rethink the way I do this self-assessment. I want to talk about this course holistically rather than focus on the Film/TV seminars that I was involved in. I think this way there’s more to talk about, it’ll be more relevant to my career aspirations and what I want out of this degree, and generally it will be far more positive.

Contribution and Collaboration
Alright. I can’t escape talking about the MI2 seminars here. I tried to actively contribute to discussions in class during the start of semester, where we were all trying to get a sense of direction for our two seminars. It was a difficult situation in that our group needed strong direction, but this would have meant dominating the group and dismissing the ideas of others. I guess you end up accommodating for many different ideas and working democratically, which doesn’t always mean you end up with a well-defined seminar concept. There wasn’t any real solution to this, and it was especially tough to collaborate because so many of us had film projects to work on (this is what happens when a group is formed purely out of Film/TV students). In any case, I’ll admit that I fell out of touch with the group during mid-semester. Certain group members such as Shu Shu and Daniel took on great responsibility, and I do feel bad for not contributing more during this stage. But as I’ve already said, it was never my priority. I enjoyed the seminars and working collaboratively on the day, but the success of our seminar never mattered to me. This is somewhat unfortunate, and I felt this when I actually sat down and watched the seminars unfold. It was a great effort on the part of a few group members and it was well done. During the seminars, I tried to be as helpful as possible with whatever was required. I picked up equipment, moved tables, helped calibrate the two cameras and pick up extra dv tapes. I had a stab at setting up the audio equipment as part of my production manager role. And as a camera operator on the first seminar, I tried to make the video content as engaging as possible with minimal downtime — I was shooting closeups of each person, and I needed to pre-empt which person was about to talk and be ready to reframe. i also needed to change exposure and refocus for every person — it’s not like this was a terribly difficult task, but it means that I was certainly switched on and actively working throughout the course of the first seminar.

Proactive Learning
I think that the best thing about this whole degree is that it encourages proactive learning. During this semester, I’ve seized every opportunity to learn outside of a university context. I realise that VCA productions are not professional, but I have had a chance to meet several professional cinematographers through working on these productions, and I think they’ve given me a better sense of the way DPs must conduct themselves on set and what their life consists of (on set at least). It’s also worth mentioning that sometimes, “non-professional productions” teach you a lot. You can see problems unfold on set, understand the effects of poor communication, or see what happens when a person makes a mistake — you quickly learn what not to do. I think that all of this is valuable in its own way. It’s no substitute for working on a professional set as I did last year on Lowdown, but I’ve gotten a lot out of experiencing both. Every day on any set I’ll learn something — it’s all experience. I also think I’m good at assimilating this experience and extrapolating knowledge from it. A shoot is only as beneficial as you choose to make it, and I think that my reflective posts on Lowdown (Lowdown pt1, Lowdown, a day in the life of, Lowdown, in retrospect) and posts on VCA productions (Strange Things, Trial by Fire, Like a Swan) are all quite honest and involved reflections on different aspects of filmmaking. Basically, I’m saying that I think a lot about filmmaking, what to do on set and what it takes to become a good director of photography.

Participation
I think I’ve covered most of this in a previous paragraph on collaboration, but I guess in a broader sense, my participation in this course has been dictated by what I’ve seen as the most valuable aspects of the subject. I’ve organised my time for MI2 with this in mind, and while at times this means that I haven’t been to a group meeting, I have been on set — learning my craft from the ground up. And all of this surely feeds back into what is surely the core purpose of MI2 — to consider our career aspirations in relation to the realities of media production in a professional context. I think that in this sense, I’ve been committed to MI2. I’ve worked on professional and student productions, I’ve reflected on these experiences, spent time with professional DPs on set, contacted DPs as part of my PNR project, and I’ve been working extensively on my showreel, portfolio website, production credits list and CV in preparation for this course to come to a close. To me, this form of participation is far more important than counting the number of classes I’ve attended.

Connections and Intersections
I’m reminded of a conversation I listened to on Lowdown last year. “Film students these days are all confidence and nothing else. They’re brought up to believe that they’ll walk into a job as director once their course is finished. They come onto our sets and no matter how many prestigious courses they’ve taken, we break them down until they realise that none of that means anything.” – That was the gist of it anyway. I’m reminded of this because I think that MI2 is necessarily a humbling course. In TV1 and TV2, you’re a director, you’re a cinematographer, you’re an editor — there’s nothing you can’t do, there’s no reason why your film can’t “go places”. Media Industries, especially MI2, has the grizzly task of forcing your dreams to meet reality. People get a sense of how hard it is to find media jobs, how jaundiced and cynical professional “production people” often are, and how no one trusts a film student. It really is a tough industry, and there’s no guarantee that I’ll get anywhere. It’s a lie to say anything other than this. But at the same time, MI2 also makes you think about where you want to end up, what you’re really passionate about, and this (potentially) instills you with an even stronger drive to fight for a media job and find a way up. There’s a way out there. I may never find it — but in forcing me to accept this reality, MI2 prepares you for what may be a depressing struggle, a hard slog, an uphill battle. Because that’s alright — that’s part of the process and it’s nothing personal. This all sounds quite bleak, but I find it comforting somehow.

And on that note.. I’ll conclude my 2nd attempt at MI2 self-assessment. I’ll stand by the same mark. 75.

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